creative writing

One after the other my feet pound against the cold grey concrete, the lumps of broken glass piercing  my bare feet with every step i take. The short cut through the back of Mrs william garden is my best option , trying to take the least amount of steps possible so they can’t trace me. im stuck and i here a ripping sound , realising my grey rags had snagged on the corner of the barbed wire fence, i pull hard and keep going. I hear heavy breaths and realise they are gaining fast. I  take a hard left and sprint till i reach a tall building that’s coloured a faded brown, it reads  amart and co  , i grab a rock the size of my fist and forcibiling throw it into the dirty window , when it shatters i take the rock and clear the fragments of the remaining  glass from around the edge of the window panel, i reach my hand in and twist left on the silver knob, unlocking the door .Upon entering  i notice its almost pristine inside, it smelled of rose bubble bath and coconut,  you would think people actually still worked here.

I pull myself up the 4 flights of stairs, at the end a slight sweat breaking down my forehead.

The view that looks over the whole of dystopia is amazing ,the buildings are all demolished and rumble is the only memory of them even existing, i remember dad taking me up here when i was a kid, he would put his hand on the glass and say ” enjoy this , this is our dystopia” i miss him, i miss everything, how did this come to be our dystopia , it was meant to be the future, but lately ive been thinking this is the end.

the windows shattering, glass flying everywhere, blood dripping from wounds, i hear screaming, hundreds of people’s cry for help , hands  banging against the walls, then two distinct gun shots fired at my head.

i wake with a sudden jolt,  a sweet smell circling under my nose, i walk to the window and peer out, fluorescent pink orange and blue  colours take over the air  surrounding the buildings , ” smoke bombs” i mutter under my breath. I grab my back pack and open the window, looking  down i see a long fall with a grey path meeting the end, i grab onto the window rim and press my stomach against the wall , one foot at a time i shuffle along the sill till i reach the balcony of the next window, i hear a door open and low voices , grabbing the steel pole i hook my feet around and close my eyes, i count to three then let my body fall down the pool, my hands grasping then letting go. Eventually i reach the bottom of the building , peering up i see the clouds starting to settle a deep grey and two heads poking over the balcony , they whisper something to each other then jump, woooooosh and they are right next to me.

” come with us, your time is now done” he snarled 

see theres part of the story i havent told you, so by now you probably are confused by whats happening. So here it goes..

 

dystopia wasnt always like this, up to 2040 it was a peaceful city , with a warm aroma and friendly people, we had no enemy’s and that’s how we liked it. I always enjoyed chemistry in high school, i had my own little lab at home , not that i ever made anything interesting, one day i did though. 

I was mixing fenestrae and nitro methane , just as any teenage would do, to see what happened, and suddenly it started producing a purple gas, it went into my lungs and i woke up twenty minutes later, i thought nothing of it until  4 months later    , No one saw it coming, they flew over in about 100 hundred planes dropping these gas bombs , wiping out our population, except me i must be immune , bloody nazis. They destroyed half of dystopia and made it illegal to accesses any part of dystopia,  , but i knew i had a mission , to one day bring back dystopia , but that’s another story , till then i bid you farewell …. Image result for signature

1 thought on “creative writing”

  1. I like the whole idea of your story and it makes you want to see what happens next in the next story.
    Relative clause: The view that looks over the whole of dystopia is amazing
    Fronted preposition: Upon entering i notice it’s almost pristine inside, – was the only one could find, maybe try adding some more in.
    Noun phrase: realising my grey rags had snagged…
    Adverbial: tall building that’s coloured a faded brown,
    I think to improve this you could work on the grammar especially on your CAPITAL LETTERS and maybe see if you can use other joining words instead of all the commas
    for example this bit:
    I was mixing fenestrae and nitro methane , just as any teenage would do, to see what happened, and suddenly it started producing a purple gas, it went into my lungs and i woke up twenty minutes later, i thought nothing of it until 4 months later , No one saw it coming, they flew over in about 100 hundred planes dropping these gas bombs , wiping out our population, except me i must be immune , bloody nazis.

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